Dating man has been sexually abused
Encourage her to rebuild her relationships with others and strengthen her support system. Give Him a Voice Abusers control their victims and call all the shots in the relationship.
The very fact that he chose to reveal this information to you shows that on some level he trusts you and the last thing you want to do is shut him down. Help Her Reconnect A common tactic of abusers is to isolate their partner from friends and family. Participating in a support group for victims of abuse or talking to a counselor may help her work through her feelings. This is especially true when the abuse occurs at the hands of another male.
More severe effects may include insomnia, poor anger management and paranoia. You can be a positive force in her life by pointing out all of her good qualities and praising her for her accomplishments. Give Him Time Even though verbal and emotional abuse doesn't leave physical damage, victims may have deep internal wounds that need time to heal. You might also be his best chance at understanding what a healthy sexual and romantic relationship truly is. Abusers may yell, taunt, call names and threaten their victim.
Restore Her Self-Esteem The verbal and emotional abuse your partner went through probably did a lot of damage to her self-esteem. Be patient if she has a hard time trusting you. Let him know that you value his opinion. Just being there for moral support can make the experience of seeking professional help less scary. Many black males are struggling with their masculinity, sexuality and even their very identities because they are burdened with the shame, self-blame and an inability to trust in relationships.
The healing process is different for everyone, and trying to rush the process may backfire. It may feel very different and even uncomfortable for your partner to be in a healthy relationship.
Men who experience sexual abuse may experience feelings of mistrust towards anyone, especially those whom they are involved with romantically. An inability to confront the issue may manifest into substance abuse and self-harm. The longer you continue the positive feedback, the more likely your words will drown out the negative words from her abuser. Emotional and verbal abuse is a way to exert control and power over someone else. Self-blame may also negatively affect self-esteem which can cause conflict within the relationship.
Emotional and verbal abuse is far too common. Sometimes just listening is a great way to show support. This can create problems in a romantic relationship, because although the partner is willing to be an active source of support, the victim to may not yet be ready to deal with his feelings.
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